Take your fears for a walk

I'm afraid of failure, I guess.

I worry that I won't ever finish my portfolio or that it won't be good enough to get me the job I want. But the thing with being afraid is that there will always be something new to fear. So in order to move forward, you must face your demons, otherwise, they'll paralyze you.

I was thinking about all of this when I decided to go for a run.

It was 10pm when I started out and the night air was heavy with humidity but I had my music going which helped me to maintain a nice steady pace. After an hour though, I started thinking about when I should stop. It was already 11pm, I was kind of tired and needed to be up early tomorrow, but I told my self: go until you can't go anymore.

I started cramping five minutes later.

But not before issuing the following dare: Go until you can't go anymore and then, double your time.

Why the stupid dare?

Because every step past the point I wanted to quit is proof that I had more in the tank than I originally thought. I wanted to see if I had it in me to stay out there for 3 hours. (For you Seinfeld lovers out there, this reminded me of the episode when Kramer tries to see how far he can drive past 'empty').

I had no idea when I would run out of gas.

Being scared is natural. But I know that when I'm afraid it means I really care. We can't let our fears paralyze us. We have to prepare for them. Write down the things that scare you, say them out loud and then go after them.

So did cramps force me to abandon my strange nocturnal quest?

I definitely couldn't run anymore but I decided to do a cool-down lap before calling it quits. Well, that cool-down lap never ended.

How far can you really go by walking in circles? The cramping definitely through me for a loop. In my defense, this is not how I expected to spend my night so I really wasn't prepared (well-hydrated, etc.).

But a dare is a dare and being creative (and stubborn) means finding a way. So there I was walking in circles for another 1.5 hours. An odd way to spend a Thursday night and the reason why I can't go for runs consistently.

I'm just a sucker for the whole 'test of wills' thing.

[Update 8/22]

I saw a quote today that says it all:

"Run when you can, walk when you have to, crawl if you must; just never give up."

Joe
http://twitter.com/joeyz101